If you have ever watched MMA at a bar you know that there are some REALLY dumb people out there with a fleeting interest in our wonderful sport. You also know that sometimes watching MMA at a bar can be more trouble than its worth because of said ignoramuses. For those of us who enjoy MMA so much that they are willing to tredge this hell by themselves to watch fights this can be particularly troubling. CRISIS OVERTED! This drinking game will keep you busy and turn those simpletons into amusing reasons to pick up your glass. Here are the rules…
Like most drinking games it is simply a matter of waiting for things that are relatively common and unique to your subject and drinking when they manifest themselves. This game comes in three tiers: 1) Direct quotes 2) Variations 3) Broad topics of idiocy.
Direct Quotes
“Nice (or good) Hit!” – 1 drink
“Hit Him!” - 1 drink
Nice (or good) choke hold” – 1 drink
“I’ve been watching this since UFC 1” – 2 drinks
“I think this is all fake” – 2 drinks
“I would have…” – 3 drinks
Variations
Any reference to Brock Lesnar being “the best” or “the champion.” – 1 drink
Any reference to the Gracies – 1 drink
Calling any fighter a pussy, pansy, or wuss – 1 drink
“Do you know that fighter that….” Followed by physical descriptions of said fighter and no mention of their fighting history or style – 1 drink
Anyone who calls Randy Couture, Chuck Liddell, Brock Lesnar, Forrest Griffin, or Georges St. Pierre their favorite fighter – 1 drink (they are allowed to be someone’s favorite fighter, you just have to drink for it)
Misinformation about fighter history (example: “Randy Couture only lost like 3 fights or something” – 2 drinks
Anyone who talks about hating when they wrestle or go to the ground – 2 drinks
Calling it “cage fighting” or “pit fighting” – 3 drinks
Broad Topics (Use Your Judgment)
Racism – Racism runs ramped in certain sports bars but someone must pay for it and it might as well be sober you.
- General racist comment – 1 drink
- “Did he just say that” moment – 2 drinks
o Examples include racial slurs, supremacist talk, or anything that would 100% start a fight if said in the presence of the people in question
- Racist comments about fighters – add 2 drinks to aforementioned equations
Mention of these fighters without logical connection to what is happening in the fight. This includes if someone says X is their favorite fighter.
- Randy Couture – 1 drink
- Chuck Liddell – 1 drink
- BJ Penn – 1 drink
- GSP – 1 drink
- Anderson Silva – 1 drink
- Brock Lesnar – 2 drinks
- Royce Gracie – 2 drinks
- Kimbo Slice – 3 drinks
- Ken Shamrock – 3 drinks
- Tank Abbott – 5 drinks
Underestimating REALLY good fighters. You really have to use your knowledge of how good someone is to make the call.
- Completely dismissing the chances of any fighter out of hand with no analysis of why – 1 drink
- Dismissing title contenders – 2 drinks
- Dismissing champions or legends as if they have never heard of them – 3 drinks
There you have it folks. This game is certainly going to see some permutations in the future but that should be enough to get you properly into your night by the end of say…. Fight #1. ENJOY!
